'If you live off a man's compliments, you'll die from his critism.'

- Cornelius Lindsey 

Stuck

It is surreal how things happened and can happen. I am in this confusion state if we are doing it right. At the end of the day, is that an opportunity or an impending doom? 

Partner

So, it turned out that her last brows trimming session was a month back, the same amount of period we had not met. It was a tad too long, but i'm glad we hang out long enough today to compensate for that. 

The last excursion

(lol@ my intiated tourist shot by a china man)

In the midst of catching birds of all sort soaring and gliding up above, i can never be more thankful for the breezy weather. The dark clouds gathered, but decided to let the shows go on as proper to satisfy our hungry eyes. Jbp completely exceeded our expectations, i must say.

On a side note, it is saddening to see the place no longer in high maintenance due to the clear fact that it's losing the crowd. I can easily do a comparison between the two pandas' $8 million air-conditioned enclosure vs the penguins' that was clearly overcrowded. I am not too sure now if extinction is better off for the owls that to be exhibit in such limited space when they used to own a limitless sky. So there was this woman at the owls' exhibition who went, 'So shiok got air con inside'. Well woman, think again.. Although i am skeptical about the entire park thing and the conversation efforts, i don't want to go explaining owls to my next generation through drawings and wikipedia.

Nevertheless, it was a great day leaving the park after 3 scoops of bens and jerry, a hearty dinner and breaking limits with escape plan! Sadly, our mini parks excursion has come to an end.

大姐大's 22. 你一定可以禁得起考验的! 

Medium rare.

I've been feeling real good, came a long way from misunderstood. I am thankful for today for convincing me by your single action. Besides a good hot plate of steak and shoulders to lie on a rare thursday, i was introduced with new things, embarrassed to admit i was blinded by my own assumption. You can be such a sweetheart at times. So, the least i can do for you, is to steal my dad's time to chauffeur you back the same stretch of roads for homebound(for another last few months), with different passengers this time.

Tuesday/My comfort

2 Park hoppers

Last weekend was kickass. 

Although he treats me like soldier at times, blurting out army lingoes from 'carry on' to 'move out', park hopping was tired as hell, but one hell of fun! 

P.s: I want to try the Temasek's pratas! 

Nicest things

And so, couple of good things happened recently. For some, i let it happen. From well spent weekends -Supper gang's bbq/bowling/impromptu cycle to bbdc to obtaining my pdl, i would say that things are so far so good. I'm more thrilled about the 2 sets of tickets in hand rather than the upcoming events this Saturday. Still, can't wait! 

"Be very, very careful what you put into that head because you'll never, ever get it out." ― Thomas Cardinal Wolsey

When army kidnaps some of our saturdates away.. 

From me to you #1

For all the resentment, i want to put an end.
Reminder has benefits. I hope it benefits me as a person, to become a better person, and to ditch my bitch face.

Why.

I can relate to what my friends are going through, after hearing their situations and my own version at home. The ultimate culprit for unnecessary stirs and unhappiness is always money. Funny how we can be in such similar situation at the same point of time..

I often ask myself why.

1 achievement unlocked and a step closer to sending myself home!

Probably the happiest of 2013

In Bangkok... I will always enjoy the almost perfect cup of ice coffee anytime, anywhere, our crazy fetish for the 7 eleven cheese hotdogs and the coconut ice cream with glutinious rice topping under the scorching sun that nothing else matters!!! And i mean it literally. My bitch face (a face that looks angry all the time) i gave throughout the unsatisfying shopping experience vanished right infront of the dessert. Jd said it was an unfair treatment to him. Haha i'm sorry! In the midst of spending money in the cheapest way, on street food, convenience and frenzied shopping, i got reminded how clean, safe and orderly Singapore is, that i can easily take it for granted. I hate every single moment in bkk withnessing crawling beggars with legs/hands amputated. It was so bad.. The first trip always hold the most memories. I like how we did not rely on the various transportation available, I get to slow down my pace and see the world better..

I would like to travel with you again.

Tuesday night wednesday morning i can't sleep

I don't know how else to contain my excitement, i've been harrassed in my sleep for the past days. I remembered seeing myself completely overwhelmed at Chatuchuk, completely in my own context and imaginery. Tentages, sardine-packed, humid and smelly. We shall see..

This morning, 

with him, 

having breakfast,

a hasty one indeed.

Made our orders, 

with the aunty in utter disbelief, 

at our breakfast meant for 3. 

This weekend was super sonic, despite a series of unfortunate events. 1. Out of 365, we chose a trip to Gardens By the Bay on the lantern festival opening night. Such a bammer! I was really anticipating the night view, alongside the slow walk and small talks. 2. Impromptu kfc breakfast did not happen as we were only in time to witness the transition from breakfast to lunch. 3. Sun's steamboat was prolly one of the best, and one that i'll patronize very often now. 

妈妈的一句话能打乱我的情绪. 面对着爱情与亲情, 实在叫人不知所措. 

I want a restart. 

Bulleye

I felt like i had gone through enough emotions today from all the trashing things out to sorting things out. I don't know if we are on the same page yet, but i've come to realise so many things about myself the hard way. 1. Trying too hard to be someone i'm not to 2. Over highly judgement of myself. I'm intimated by all the facts.. 

Empty

For the past 4 days, i watched the world gets busy. And i thought to myself, is about time i start feeling bad about not feeling bad about something i should feel bad about. 

I like his humbleness. 

My hero. 

From today onwards, i can smell like vanilla. 

Blue and white crepe paper strips, and some stolen pebbles with new ink on each. And the effortlessly done up dessert bar, my party was kinda complete. Forget about the unflattering numbers, i'm glad you came. All of you. 

Chills vs chill

Although i don't consider myself a persimist, looking at how life is treating me, i could not help feeling a tad concerned, if everything is bound to end in disaster. 

On a sidenote, happy drunk ORD, i had a fantabulous night with his supper gang. 

Yeaterday threw away my tomorrow.

So today started but it is no longer like any other day. Being caught in this mischap, is like an ice cream. Food is cliche, but totally relevant. The short-term happiness was exactly what i felt the past good months. But. Such is life. Things can change dramatically in a heartbeat. While it feels totally underserved, everything happens for a reason. It was almost a 'great fit' for me, prolly why it will take me sometimes to recollect myself. I hold no grudges, i am fortunate, thankful and grateful forever. I did not see it coming, but i've learned in my short time out in the working world that you have to be prepared to be expandable, because as secure as things may seem, they never truly are. Things change, shit happens, sometimes, you just get caught in crossfire. 

My first play

Behind this red curtain were a magnificent masqurade. There, i was itching for photgraphs of all the tiniest moment, that i cannot forget for the rest of my life. 

Endlessly

Such coffee talks with friends,
hit me back to reality again, mine vs yours.
Swimming into views, and left hanging over all the 'no definite' answers 

Many possibilities, 

drove me down to the plans i make, the plans with you in them.

Milestone

20 is my first milestone. Never too young to hold responsibilities, never too old to change. A small change now and then, the inner work i'm doing is starting to bring in a little success. But it do feels at times.. Two steps forward, one step back. Whatever it is that i'm doing to find a sense of self-worth, can be a huge hindrance, i want to stay this way and keep going. 

Malaysia

My annual seafood feast. 

Overflowing guilt. But, very proud.

A joyous occasion, smiles plastered on faces. I carried a look of remorse, throughout. Orange blossom time but my sky was grey. The hardest blow came when they came marching up to the overly excited audiences, we were the sulking ones at the corner. Such a pity, i'm all to blame. Because it's once in a lifetime, because it's one hell of a journey, because he is 1 of the 20, i hate myself and my sense of urgency, which i don't have to begin with. 

Here's to everything that we've been through and going through. 

Been awhile.. 

I was amused to hear that same few lingos throughout the night, it felt like Jd were everywhere. It was the same night that i saw enough brawny men, they can make fish eye shot tighter. Now, commisson parade is really something to look forward to! 

I have proven to Jd yet again that anything can happen under my finger tips. Things can go wrong when they can't possibly go wrong, knowing only too well how muddle i can be. With the elite tickets i purchased unknowingly, we sat through the movie like kings with their adjustable seats! 

I want

to catch a baseball match with you someday. 

Digits.

Is pay increment the only motivation left for work? Absurd as it sounds, but it seems like it. 

Morning

Sleep last night felt like a few short naps come together. Reg sis was hogging onto the phone and mum was trying to deal with the pain from her tooth extraction. I fell asleep in between before i got woken up again, by dad's yelling at Cheryl and her ungodly hour. It was 5am. Then came 6, i have no idea how but i manage to tear myself off the bed 20 minutes later, and travel down to fetch the soldier out from camp. 9:02am, hogging onto his boster with an empty stomach, waiting for the two irresponsible chaps to take over my boy's duty and return him back to me.

Three thoughts

One. 

Feeling apologectic for the some moments that we got carried away by the accumulated frivalous things, they can sabotage and flip your world upside down. 

Two.

Finding out the truth is like taking chances, clueless of what's awaiting for you: An impending doom or the least expected. Going through the process of knowing them is... Undescribable. You don't know what to feel that is the right thing to feel, at that moment. 

Three. 

Even up till today, i'm thankful i have you to bring me back to sanity, everytime.  

Terrible time

The waves just keep coming, we fight tool and nail and persist on. 

-

I hear thunders tonight, and nothing from you. 

Senior.

Judging at how i'm given authority at work, i'm flattered.
However, i'm not buying that. It's nothing close to fantastic about being a senior.

This August

I like mornings. Most of the time, i'll be quietly pursuing my own thoughts at any given opportunity spent waiting. Waiting for the lift, waiting in the lift, waiting for the bus, waiting for my destination.

Some of the past mornings, Reg sis and i were exchanging ideas for my humble home party. I'm slowly diving into the celebratory mood, my toes wiggled at every thought of it. But honestly, i'm not exactly thrill about the party as a whole, i just can't wait to start all the craft works. I cannot not love pinterest, they are my google and wikipedia when it comes to inspiration!

I'm usually a stickler when it comes to party, i hope mine is an enjoyable one where you have to gasp for breath between each laugh.

Relationship makes people crazy. 

One truth

I like to be engaged, occupy myself and be involved, thus it'll be nice if netball becomes a monthly thing. I am not very satisfied with my way of living now. It's too bland, i'm disgusted.

Morning crisis

I dress according to mood, but dressing up in the morning can be such a prick, it usually watered down to basics - jeans + any plain top that i grabbed without a second look + can-never-go-wrong converse. I don't know.. it's just basic courtesy to wear appropriately. Sometimes, 'wear to impress' can really be my slogan. But it's too much a hassle for the lazy mornings, let's just forget about it. 

It's a blessing to give

Because it gets progressively harder to make friends as you grow older, and the fact that work life is all about datelines and acquaintances, i want to kidnap my real friends for good.

A friend like Lxn keep me rooted and sane. Happy 21st, you are always worth my time and effort! :) 

HBD JD

I resembled a theif.

I am still amused at how the mother's sisters clan always turn up at the parties in identical clothes. 

And so, this was how Jd turned 21. 

'I can't afford to, and i don't want to'

Because after all the tiff and sniff, at the end of the day, i know we still have each other. Happy 21st my monkeywrenches! I like sunflower, but definitely not stranger. I can assure you that! :)

禁得起考验

23:19

Found my second favourite resting posture, hand-masking my mouth, as i see myself doing it so often on my late bus rides home, that too, became frequent. 

You know what's best about such nights? Completing work and returning home with dinner on the table. Definitely not one where you have to pack for home because it's late, with an early morning awaiting for you to start another big time rush. You cannot sleep as 'tomorrow' becomes a prick, haunting your sleep. 

And today, i'm thankful it's PH tomorrow. My 'tomorrow' is now 4 days later. 

The best part about last weekend was Ironman. Just.. That. 

So...

Is good to have my text buddy back! :) 

I don't know what's worst. Being force to let go a 3-weeks-dued-movie date for work or having somebody spending his entire off day waiting. Waiting for you. 

That was the worst crappiest Tuesday, and the most heartfelt 'sorry' and 'thank you', to you. 

I hate it when you had to try so hard to fall asleep.

It felt like death. 

That was Monday. 

My work companion left for company trip, work this week was even more stagnant..

“I want so much that is not here and do not know where to go.”
Charles Bukowski (via krysuvik)

The truth is...

I hate my current invitation list. I feel like i failed as a person. I have somebody, yet i have nobody. I'm certainly not very proud of this):

珍惜眼前人

Inquisitive, opinionated, talkative and with multiple interests #Geminis can be hard to handle.

Monday this rare,

After work, Monday, that much time with someone.

Tonight all emotions came at me, too overwhelming that i cannot suppress any longer. I read the time away, but the books bring me back to love. I'm already chattering my teeth at the thought of the next torment in 2 weeks time. God i'm losing patience of waiting..

How to feel better:

Play your favourite album/ Do the laundry/ Jog/ Spend time with your friends/ Cook/ Read/ Write/ Make plans for Jd's 21st.

Repeat all of the above till the warrior comes home.

I'm a worrier for my warrior for the next 9 days. Please be safe!

Reality check

It's unavoidable for full-hearted laughs to turn into quarter-hearted giggles, before the call for 'shifting cultivation' among the social circle when it's all left with 1/10th-hearted chuckles.

I decided to whip up a good Aglio Olio, but it seems like i have got a long way to be at the kitchen. My version tasted bland, minus the final toppings. 

Here we go again, another month without Monkeywrenches.

Pigneek

'In order to have more time, make more time'. Even though our picnic lasted faster than the hipsters at Food For Thought due to the bad weather, at least we had our shades on and munching for half an hour! Still thankful!

M21

Happy birthday Mildred! The 1st year of working life has definitely put you through the toughest phase, how working life can intimidated one person. It gave us a reality check, but we definitely can pull this through. Stay positive, happy, motivated and successful dear friend!   

The first time

I gunned down my own surprise the moment i accidentally saw his vday note on his phone. Usually girls will go 'awww' and cranked their glorious smile up another notch till it's in full HD IMAX. I can only remember myself returning an awkward cramped smile. You know.. reality is always the opposite, he was too shy he sang back facing me while looking at the lyrics from his phone screen. HAHAHA! I recorded the golden moment only to realize the recording stopped at 1s. All that i captured was, 'I....', that's it.): I hated myself that very moment. 

Gluttons

That's quite a bit of food for the eyes to digest. It's quite amazing+frightening to see how best friend and i can indulge in good food within the past 1 to 2 months. Hah!!!